update

I haven't written for sometime now because things haven't really changed, though they kind of feel like they change every day. It's difficult to write about something that you feel like you've already covered or when you don't really know the status of something.

Things really haven't changed. Alex and I are both living separately, and it doesn't look like this is going to change anytime soon. I am not bothered by this and I really do think it's the best thing for both of us as individuals and for our relationship, whatever status it turns out to be in the end.

Both of us have started seeing therapists to work on our individual issues. I suspect that we will end up going together at some point, so long as we decide that we actually want to work things out.


I don't know about from his point of view, but I think that being honest has really helped this process. And the honest truth is that I do love Alex, and I really hope that things work out between us. I hope that it works out because we can be really good together. I hope that it works out because I don't want to be a 20-something divorcée - and not because I would mind being divorced, but because of the fact that it would mean that I have had a failed marriage. FAILED. Not exactly something that's easy to deal with. But, even if we work on the things, individually, that drive each other crazy, it may be that we are just going to be better off as friends.

It may be that I'm not the right type of person for him; as I've told him before, I think he'd be happier with someone more demure. And it may be that I need something a little more than he can give me; there is nothing "wrong" with him - he is who he is - but sometimes I feel like having someone more active and secure is what I really need.

Neither of us are in a rush to work things out or go through with the divorce. We are just taking things really slow so we can work on ourselves and then evaluate the relationship when we feel more stable. I don't know how other people do things, but this is working for us.