update

I haven't written for sometime now because things haven't really changed, though they kind of feel like they change every day. It's difficult to write about something that you feel like you've already covered or when you don't really know the status of something.

Things really haven't changed. Alex and I are both living separately, and it doesn't look like this is going to change anytime soon. I am not bothered by this and I really do think it's the best thing for both of us as individuals and for our relationship, whatever status it turns out to be in the end.

Both of us have started seeing therapists to work on our individual issues. I suspect that we will end up going together at some point, so long as we decide that we actually want to work things out.


I don't know about from his point of view, but I think that being honest has really helped this process. And the honest truth is that I do love Alex, and I really hope that things work out between us. I hope that it works out because we can be really good together. I hope that it works out because I don't want to be a 20-something divorcée - and not because I would mind being divorced, but because of the fact that it would mean that I have had a failed marriage. FAILED. Not exactly something that's easy to deal with. But, even if we work on the things, individually, that drive each other crazy, it may be that we are just going to be better off as friends.

It may be that I'm not the right type of person for him; as I've told him before, I think he'd be happier with someone more demure. And it may be that I need something a little more than he can give me; there is nothing "wrong" with him - he is who he is - but sometimes I feel like having someone more active and secure is what I really need.

Neither of us are in a rush to work things out or go through with the divorce. We are just taking things really slow so we can work on ourselves and then evaluate the relationship when we feel more stable. I don't know how other people do things, but this is working for us.

Cave Swimming at Blue Creek

After our tour at Cyrila's, we were taken to lunch at an Indian restaurant. There were many different kinds of rice, beans, meats, bbq and it was all delicious!
One thing about Belize is that they LOVE habeñero pepper. A lot of times they offer a habeñero sauce that is blended with some kind of fruit. So good, but it is potent. They also have jars of pickled veggies: onions, olives, and the habeñero - much like the pickled peppers that you find at mexican restaurants containing jalepeños, carros, onions, etc. - on the table for you to enhance your food.
When in Rome! We totally took a bite!

Yes, it was VERY spicy and our mouths hurt for a good 10 minutes.

After lunch we headed out to start our tour of Blue Creek. It was about a 30 minute drive to get to the parking spot. Along the way, we saw great sites, though.

Maya Mountains

Maya Mountains

giant Mahogany tree

building with thatch roof

After we parked, I saw, what I thought, was the weirdest thing. CHICKENS lying on the ground!

After I got over the chickens, we started our trek to the opening of the cave.

As we walked and came across various plants, our tour guide (whose name escapes me at the moment) would tell us how Mayans used to use them. For example, how to make a thatched roof.

And how to extract the heart of a palm to make heart of palm soup.

We also had the chance to see a Mopan Mayan woman in her traditional attire.

Then we finally got to the river, which lead us to the cave opening.

We then got into our suits, hopped in that cold water armed with life jackets and a head lamp, and swam to the back of the cave where we found a waterfall. Obviously we don't have any pictures because we didn't have a water proof camera and the lighting was horrid, but I suggest that you do this if you ever get the chance. 

Here are some things we saw on our walk back.

busted bridge

spiny palm tree 

giant leaf cutter ant hill

Cacao Tour

When Alex and I went to Punta Gorda, Belize in November, we decided we'd splurge and pay for a tour. Luckily, there were a couple of really great ones to choose from and it only cost $100 per person for the entire day.
The first part of our tour was a demonstration from Cyrila's Chocolate, a small company that farms cacao in a sustainable and organic fashion and then makes products from it, such as wine, chocolate, and chocolate powder.

  

We left at about 9am with our tour guide, Seriano, who drove us out to the demonstration site. 

When we arrived, we were greeted by José who showed us around and explained all the facets of the way their farm works. 

Cacao in fruit form

vanilla in plant form

ducks

rooster

turkeys

José and his raised plant beds. Dried palm leaves help keep the animals
from eating the plants. It's organic! 

Then he took us upstairs to a loft area where he and his wife gave us a demonstration of how the Myans used to take the seeds from the cacao fruit, roast them, shell them, and then grind them to make chocolate.

Taking off the roasted shell of the cacao seed

Once all the seeds are out of their shells, you have to try to get the little broken parts out. 

To do this, you have to (carefully) throw the seeds into the air and catch them.

The idea is that while the seeds are in the air, the little particles will float out.

Instructions on how to use this ancient grinder.

Alex is a master chocolate maker.

But this lady, chocolate making is in her blood.

100% cacao. Very bitter.

While talking about their farm and business, they allowed us to try their cacao wine, orange chocolate, and hot chocolate drink. Not only were they tasty, but it was organic and from a sustainable farm. I was really impressed with this business and very happy to help support them. Alex and I bought all three products for our families, and even some for ourselves.

If you ever make it down to Southern Belize, it's definitely worth checking out.