One and a Half Pints

This is a very trivial story, but it's a cute one so I wanted to share it.


Every eight weeks or so, our company holds a blood drive with the American Red Cross. I  have been an avid blood donor for as long as I could give blood and I have tried on numerous occasions to try to get Alex to donate blood with me.

So, when a blood drive was scheduled for June 19th, I pulled the "It's our anniversary babe... you can donate blood as my anniversary gift" card. It did not work at first, but I was persistent and called him the day before the blood drive to sign him up.
 "What time do you want to give blood tomorrow?"..
"..Uhh... what?..."
"You heard me... they have these open slots for 10:20, noon, one, etc.. Ooh, how about 10:20 then you can go on your break and eat afterward."
"Oooooooooooook"


So the day of, we're getting ready for work... make sure that we have a good breakfast... even send Alex on his way with some coffee. I don't generally go into work until 11am, so I stayed home and finished up and he went on his way. There were a couple of times while I was getting ready when I was thinking to myself, I hope he's ok.. I hope he doesn't get sick or anything. Now, this may have been some sort of psychic connection or it could just be a memory of the last time Alex gave blood and nearly fainted... hard to say which one it is, but I digress.

I stroll into work about 11am and am getting ready to begin working when Alex IMs me on our GoogleChat. He says, "Did you talk to Amy? I don't know which dept she's in but she said she was going to talk to you."
"No, I don't know who you're talking about. Why? What's wrong?"
"Well, she walked me back from the blood drive because I fainted."
"OMG I KNEW IT! I knew something was going on!"
"How did you know?"
"I JUST KNEW"

I eventually did talk to this Amy person... turns out it's the Amy that works in my dept. Turns out she was giving blood at the same time as him and was sooo freaked out when he fainted, she nearly jumped up to help him until she realized she also had a needle in her arm. Alex was able to get about half a pint out of him before this incident when they took the needle out without sterile procedure and his blood became contaminated. Half a pint of contaminated blood. He ate a bagel and went on his way. He was fine, by the way, just a little freaked out.

My appointment was at 12:20pm and the only thing I was really worried about was whether or not my iron was going to be low that day. After the initial process, I'm sitting on the cot where they draw your blood and I ask the nurse if she remembers the guy who fainted earlier and told her that he is my boy... she recounted his story from her perspective and then we went on our way.
Right arm is my best arm, but she has a difficult time finding my vein. It begins to hurt like no other time I've given blood... I am making a lot of noise and she is digging around in my arm with a needle... at least that's what it feels like! She gives me the option of trying the other arm which I take because, heck, I'm already there, why not? 
She finds the vein after putting an inflated cuff on me and having me pump. I tell her I will not move one centimeter and I don't during the whole sterilization process. Turns out that it was all in vain ... haha, that's a pun... because the stupid thing rolls and she can't find it. Of course, she only realizes this after the needle is in me. Eventually, she strikes gold and I begin pumping. It's going soooooo slow that the scale is beeping pretty much non-stop to let her know that it is going at a snail's pace. After I hit my 10 min mark, and had pumped only half a bag, she comes over to look at the needle and lifts it ever so slightly... this really does the trick because I start gushing. 
We both think that I am gonna make the 20 min deadline. Suddenly, it slows down when I have 10-20 grams to go and the nurses start talking about what to do.... "Well, the rules say approximately 20 minutes...." So they start moving the needle around again to try to get those last couple of grams so I, we all, can be finished with this process. It doesn't hurt... I just sit there with my head turned to the side so I don't have to see the needle in my arm. Then it's over. They don't really tell me what has happened, just that I'm done. Turns out, while moving that needle about, it caught some air which contaminated the line that led to my bag of blood. Contaminated. 
The nurse says to me, in jest, "You and your hubby are a bunch of troublemakers!"


We each spent an hour (prep, donating, recovering) of our time trying to give blood to a good cause and all we gave was a hard time to the nurses and one and a half pints of contaminated blood. Happy Anniversary baby. 

Happy Anniversary

Tomorrow marks the fifth year of the relationship that exists between Alex and me. Two years before marriage... Two years after...nearly a year separated.. and nearly a year divorced. Needless to say, it has been an interesting experience in which we have both learned and grown a lot.

I can honestly say that we are the best we have ever been. I personally feel more comfortable with our relationship; how I am in our relationship. We still have a lot of things to work on, either to find resolve or compromise... mostly involving the differences in how we handle situations or view things. Luckily, though they are sometimes difficult to talk about, these things aren't deal breakers. We have the understanding, which has been the understanding the entire time, that we love each other and we want to be together. It's just that now we realize we actually have to work, and work together, to make it work. I think we knew that before.. that it takes work to make things work... we just didn't know if it would work with us, how things were.

I believe that the break we had from each other in 2011 was a good one. I mean, it was really trying... we both cried a lot... we yelled a lot. We did things to piss each other off. We did things to manipulate each other. We slept alone, in separate houses, and we called each other when we were lonely. And we made peace with not being with each other. Then, after filing for divorce, we decided that we wanted to be together. Not that we were wrong for separating or having this time apart, but that we were ready to commit to each other again. We really needed that time, that space away from each other, physically and emotionally, to say these things, to do these things, to test each other outside of the trust of the marriage, to rebuild what we wanted "us" to be.

So, here we are five years deep and just really beginning our lives as adults. Things have really begun to look up for us as a couple and as individuals. I still believe that everything happens for a reason, and we are where we're at in life for a reason... to teach us something that will prepare us for something bigger in the future.

Congrats to us for doing what was best for us at every stage in our relationship, even though it might not have been the easiest or the most popular decisions, and coming out of it better people and partners. And here's to the future of trailblazing our own way through this journey.

we need to be kind to ourselves

Just because two people decide to not continue a relationship, or decide to alter its boundaries, does not mean that the relationship failed. I have to remind myself of this. We have to be kind to ourselves regarding really difficult situations.

Alex and I had a lapse in our boundaries recently. A series of events lead us to a nostalgic frame of mind where we gave into our positive thoughts and feelings without regarding the negative/realistic side of things. Anniversary. Holiday. And then throw some hormones in there and we've got a recipe for thoughts of a possible reconciliation.

After a month of talks, things have returned back to normal. We reminded each other that it was just nostalgia, that there are reasons why we are divorcing, and that this doesn't mean we won't be able to be apart of each other's lives. That's our main fear: losing each other entirely. And we have both reassured each other that won't happen.

Our dissolution papers are turned in and all we've got to do is go to the courthouse to pay our fees and three weeks or so later we will be divorced. It's just a label, you know. Married. Divorced. It means something different for everyone. And in our case, it doesn't mean "Failed Marriage". Divorce means we love each other enough to allow the other one the freedom to grow and become who we were meant to be. We're still kids and we need to grow up without each other being involved in every aspect of the other's life. We have found that it's not possible for us to do that while we're married.

I do believe that there will be more Desaree and Alex adventures. Desaree and Alex are over. Desaree and Alex are just friends now. There is no reason to have unkind thoughts about that; it's a happy thing.

update

I haven't written for sometime now because things haven't really changed, though they kind of feel like they change every day. It's difficult to write about something that you feel like you've already covered or when you don't really know the status of something.

Things really haven't changed. Alex and I are both living separately, and it doesn't look like this is going to change anytime soon. I am not bothered by this and I really do think it's the best thing for both of us as individuals and for our relationship, whatever status it turns out to be in the end.

Both of us have started seeing therapists to work on our individual issues. I suspect that we will end up going together at some point, so long as we decide that we actually want to work things out.


I don't know about from his point of view, but I think that being honest has really helped this process. And the honest truth is that I do love Alex, and I really hope that things work out between us. I hope that it works out because we can be really good together. I hope that it works out because I don't want to be a 20-something divorcée - and not because I would mind being divorced, but because of the fact that it would mean that I have had a failed marriage. FAILED. Not exactly something that's easy to deal with. But, even if we work on the things, individually, that drive each other crazy, it may be that we are just going to be better off as friends.

It may be that I'm not the right type of person for him; as I've told him before, I think he'd be happier with someone more demure. And it may be that I need something a little more than he can give me; there is nothing "wrong" with him - he is who he is - but sometimes I feel like having someone more active and secure is what I really need.

Neither of us are in a rush to work things out or go through with the divorce. We are just taking things really slow so we can work on ourselves and then evaluate the relationship when we feel more stable. I don't know how other people do things, but this is working for us.

snow days

Oregon rarely gets any snow where people actually live. There are some years where we will get a light dusting one day, and people play, but it's over by noon. Sometimes we actually get a full snow day with big chunky flakes falling toward an inch or so on the ground. This week we got some of that.

I took photos on my phone, which I will try to figure out how to upload to my computer. I'm not going to lie, there was kind of a lot yesterday. And it kept falling until mid-morning when the sun came out from behind the clouds and dried us all up. I don't mind it. We got to get out of work because Oregonians don't know how to drive on snow and ice and then by the end of the day it was gone.

The thing that baffles me is how school districts determine whether or not they're going to allow a snow day. Yesterday, nearly the entire state was shut down. All of the public and private schools, except for a handful, were able to enjoy the snow. One of those schools in the handful was in the district in which I work, which would have meant that I would have also had work. Luckily, our bosses have good judgement and allowed us to stay home anyhow. Last night, after nearly all the snow had melted and it wasn't snowing any longer, the district decided that today would be a good day to have a snow day. It is gorgeous outside: sun shining, no clouds, barely any snow... yet, they want a school day.
Like I said, I don't understand how a school district determines this, but I do know that it isn't always logical.

This give me a second day off. Yesterday I squandered my day on sleep. Today, I've been on a mission to get things done, though it's two and I haven't done much save for eat and shower. I have decided that I need to work on those pictures that are on this computer that I've been promising for MONTHS. It is out of control how much work I need to do, which is why I haven't done it.
I'm gonna do it.
Right now.
I'm going.

Expect them soon. SOONISH.
over and out.

no resolutions

I did not make a new years resolution. I think I have in the past but, like a lot of other people in the world, probably did not keep them.

I guess if I had to pick a goal for the year it would be "be happy". I realized today that this does not only mean doing what's best in the moment but what's best overall for everyone involved/effected. A lot of times, we can't feel right with ourselves if we have regrets about wronging another. So, that's definitely a factor.

I did end up going running today though. I decided that it'd be a good idea to take the dogs on a walk, which turned into me and Cate going running. Because I'm very rusty, we chose to do a one and a half mile loop. I did the whole loop, but that definitely does not mean that I ran it. If I had to guess, I'd say I ran about half a mile total.

Even though I hated nearly every minute of it, I felt great for the rest of the day. So, that is at least some kind of incentive for me to continue.

Anyone make a new years resolution? Is it different or the same as years past?

the surprise

I was really preoccupied with organizing our return to the States that I couldn't be bothered with blogging. I mean, the only thing I was thinking about, the only thing I was doing, had to do with coming back to Oregon, surprising our families and friends. I couldn't think about all of the other things that would have been good for this blog. I could barely even edit photos, save for my late nights.

So, we had been planning this for a couple of weeks. At first, we thought it was too expensive for us to come home. I mean, we were looking at about $1,600 for flying right before Christmas. That's a lot of money to just about anyone. But, after a while we became quite homesick and decided that it didn't matter what it cost; we wanted to come home. 

Three weeks later, here we are. We've surprised Alex's family and our friends Josh and Haley. We ran into our friend Brandon on the highway. And Christmas has come and gone.

And still, it was worth it. 

I am still working on editing photos for this blog. I have no idea when they will be done but, now that most of the festivities are over, I will have more time. 

I love Thursdays

I love Thursdays for three reasons:
1. It's almost the end of the week.
2. I don't have to teach anymore little kids. On Wednesday, I have a very full day which includes teaching all of my classes. I have 3rd, 4th, and 6th grades, plus my usual 7th, 8th, and 9th grades. It's usually not a very good day for me.
3. It's bread day!!

It starts with Doña Olga. She gives us some kind of bread every week on Thursday. Usually, it's these babies.

I have no idea what they're called. Today, she called them "pansitas" but I'm pretty sure that's not the real name.
They are quite dry, so dry that it's dangerous to eat them without water. And have a little bit of a sweet flavor to them. Alex doesn't like them so much, but I think they're delicious.


Then, if we've remembered to put in an order, we go pick up our order of bread from one of our student's aunt's. She cooks bread every week and sells it only on Thursday. We've been told that many people come to buy this bread, even from an hour or so away from here. It's pretty delicious, especially with coffee.

Oh, what do we have in this bag?

Oh, "samitas de trigo". These are out favorite samitas.

A little bit of sugar on its hard outside, soft crumbs on the inside.

YUM.

Oh, well, here is another bag...

OH! More samitas and a torta!

These are "samitas de arroz". 

They are also good, but a bit more dry than the samitas de trigo.

Oh, and the torta...

The "torta de mantequilla" is the perfect bread for coffee.

Moist. A little bit of sugar.

Melt in your mouth goodness. 

As you can see, I cut into that torta right away. We decided that since we had just bought more coffee, and now we had bread, that it would be a good idea to just indulge immediately. It just felt right.

And for 100 lempiras ($5 usd) for all that bread, boy, was it right. Delish!

Thanksgiving part 2

Just to ensure you all that we did not starve on Thanksgiving, here is the picture to prove it:

Though, because we had to work on Thursday, we celebrated on Sunday when we could actually make the food. There was no turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, pie, cake, rolls, or most of the really yummy stuff, but we made due.

Not gonna lie... for out first big holiday away from our families, I think it turned out pretty all right!

Thanksgiving

Our first holiday without the family.
We made it though, and without crying, even!

Because Thanksgiving is only observed, and not celebrated/a holiday, we had to work. The kids from school had brought in food and clothes to give to selected families in need around the community.

Throughout the day, classes would leave with a couple of boxes and deliver it to families. Alex was able to accompany one class (lucky!), but I missed out.

We went home and started to scour the internet for Black Friday deals on laptops. Turns out, we both use the laptop a lot. Turns out, we have a hard time sharing the laptop.

We cooked dinner. It was no Thanksgiving feast. We'll be doing that this weekend when we have time to cook.

We watched The Office like we usually do when we have dinner.

Then we Skyped with Alex's family who was having dinner at Danny and Mandy's house. We got to see the new baby (Adele), and our other nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles. It was good to see everyone and how they've changed over the course of just 3 months.

After our chat, we watched the rest of our episode (we're on season 4 right now), and went to bed.


Even though we did not get to eat turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, deviled eggs, pumpkin and apple pies, cakes, and other delicious goodies, it wasn't a bad Thanksgiving.


I am thankful for our families: that they didn't cry because it was our first holiday away from home, for supporting us in our adventures, and that they were able to talk to us on Thanksgiving.

I am thankful that we were actually able to cook decent food now so that we don't starve.

I am thankful that we have internet. If we didn't have skype/facebook and online shopping, I don't know what we would do!

I am thankful that this year, we have full time employment and that we're going to be able to save some money this year, on top of taking some sweet vacations and having the free time to write, read, and create.

Word.

dodging poo

Yes, I should say that Alex and I are pretty good at dodging the poop that litters the streets of San Marcos.

Everyday, we walk to school. It's about a 10 to 15 minute walk, depending on how energetic we feel.
And everyday we must always look down at our feet and the two and a half foot semi-circle around us to make sure we're not endanger of stepping in any poop.

A lot of times, the poop is easy to spot. This would be the cow poop.
It's in huge piles and is generally black when wet. When it dries, it looks like dead grass, I don't mind stepping on it.

Other times its dog poo. This poo can look very different from pile to pile. Sometimes its normal brown. Other times we've seen it babypoop yellow and green.

Then there is poop that kind of looks like dog poop but maybe is too big to have come from a dog. I suspect that it may be human poop, though I've never seen anyone poop (though I have seen plenty of males pee in a bush or wall) around here.

Luckily, the only time I have stepped in poop is when I was in the cow pasture during my milking adventure.


And thank god.
Poop is gross.